Friday, July 17, 2015

Words of Truth Move Mountains

Being a writer is something as a kid that I wanted to do. When other kids were dreaming of being an astronaut, firefighters, nurses, and ballerina (even though I took ballet for 13 years), I was dreaming of being the next great author. Having ADHD this was not really an ideal career path for me. I took medicine and went to special therapy as a kid, but the symptoms really have not gone away as I have become an adult. This has made my dream of becoming a great writer harder than I want it to be.

Writing is something that takes time to learn. It takes a lot of practice and even after years of perfecting your writing, you must continue to improve. My mother always told me that the best way to become a good writer is to first become a good reader. "Read everything and anything good you can get your hands on", she told me growing up and even now, "The more you are exposed to good writing the better you will become." At first, I did not take this with a grain of salt and read books that were more entertaining than good writing. It wasn't until college when I truly  realized if I wanted to be a great writer, and not just a good writer, my catalog of books need to change. 

I went to a small liberal arts college (Coker College) in rural South Carolina. This was the best thing I could have done to be surrounded by great minds and an even greater education. I had excellent English professors who pushed my reading and writing to be what it is now. A lot of writing comes with criticism, this I got plenty of being in a small learning environment. I remember going into one of my professors office as a desperate junior wanting to become a better writer. She recommended to me the same advice my mother gave me years before, but gave me a list of books to read in order to become a better writer. This list included: Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird, Stanley Fish's How to Write a Sentence and How to Read One , and various classic works from Austen to Hardy. I tackled reading these in preparation for an independent study I would be taking with her in the spring of my senior year. 

Taking this advice to read these works were some of the first steps I took in order to improve my writing style. Learning how to edit was the next skill that I developed during this independent study. Being able to edit another's writing helps improves one's own writing. It gives you an insight of what to look out for in your own writing. If you can efficiently edit someone else's work, your own will benefit when you edit it. 

These are some of the tips I give to young people, especially young black women, who may have to try harder in order to achieve their dreams. I am still currently working on my writing, and hope to one day make a living off of it. Until then, I want to write for the the love of writing. In my time I may not write the next great novel; but I want to make change happen with my words. With my words I want to speak the truth. To all the young writers keep writing, keep developing your writing, and do not let anyone tell you, you can't do something. Through words of truth we can move mountains and create writing that changes lives and hopefully the world.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Unplugged Loser

This past weekend was the Fourth of July. My twitter, Facebook and Instagram pages was filled with bar-barques, parties, and people being very patriotic. I did all of these things, but I did not post on my Facebook or Twitter how awesome my Fourth holiday was.

Does this make me a loser in the sense of today's world? I do have all of the latest social media but I don't really use it. My Twitter has less than 200 tweets and my Facebook hasn't been updated since late May. I am officially an unplugged loser. I have all the proper tools to have a 21st century social life but there are still things I am uncomfortable sharing. I am an introvert I do not like talking to others in person let alone sharing my personal life online.

I can do this (writing a blog) because I love writing! Writing a post for a blog does not have to involve my face or my friends and family being shared with the world. The people who read this blog unless I send it to someone, do not know my face.

In this world of oversharing we have started to look more the same than unique. Everyone seems to post the same things and if you do not then your life is boring. No my life is not boring I am just not posting it for the world to see.

It's like the new Taco Bell commercial promoting it's new nacho wrap. The commercial talks about our world of sharing that we have gotten to the point where we overshare everything and it's becoming too much. Then there is the new Chinet commercial which talks about remembering what social used to be like, showing people talking together with their phones put away. Why can this be the norm again?

Being an unplugged loser may be my truth, but I am proud to not be posting everything that happens in my life. I do not want to see the world through my computer screen. Catch up with friends via Facebook, but at my local bar. Instead of sharing moments online why not share moments in person? Share love and hope, instead of what you have for lunch today.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Hair Shaming Is the New Form of Discrimination

As you could probably already guess I am Black/African American. Hair to us is a way of life, from going to the hair salon to getting our hair combed out being a nightly bond between mothers, grandmothers, and daughters. Salons similar to barbershops are where Black women gather to talk about everything and anything. It is Oprah, Wendy Williams, and The Talk all rolled into one place. 

Lately I have noticed the increased number of women who are natural in this country. I walk down the street and see women with natural and it is almost like we connect instantly. I went natural about one year ago after having problems growing my hair with a relaxer in it. It was becoming another alternative to the burning sensation and chemical destruction that comes with getting ones hair relaxed every six weeks. At first I wanted to transition (taking months to let your natural hair grow out) but I am not a patient woman so I decided to get the big chop (cutting off all your hair Lupita style). Little did I know that it would be a life changing decision for me. 

I did this over the summer so it was a surprise to my classmates when I returned to college the fall of my senior year. I had friends (both black and white) take a huge judgement about what I did to my hair. The black girls on campus with naturals immediately took me in to show me what to do with my new set of locks. While my black friends who had straight hair or my friends who were white did not have a problem with it but would drop not so subtle hints about my new style. 

They would say things like "Wow, you have black people hair now" or "are you gonna get a weave because now that you are natural it will be easier to braid". These comments are a few of many that I got over those first couple of months back. It was earth-shattering hearing subtle racist comments about my hair from the people who had been my friends. I broke off many ties that semester including my long time relationship, because of the issue around having a short natural. 

Now you may think "Wow, that is a lot of fuss over someone's hair". And you would right it is. I thought it was just me until I started seeing it happen on a national stage. Between Tamron Hall talking about her hair on NBC's the Today Show, with mostly men giving their opinion about what she should do with HER hair to the show the REAL talking about weave every five seconds. Black women's hair have become a social battleground and possibly the new face of discrimination in this country. 

Why can't the world be like the Sesame Street Episode I saw which originally aired last year, with a Black/African American girl puppet talking about how wonderful her hair is? We have campaigns by Dove, and P&G with slogans like "Love your curls" and "My Black is Beautiful" why can't the rest of the population get on board. Seeing Amber Rose and Lupita Nyong'o on red carpets I thought we were passed this. People still criticize Beyonce and Jay-Z's daughter for having a natural. Even my little cousin who has beautiful curls is a victim of other family members talking bad about her afro. 

We need to stop hair shaming Black women who want to embrace the hair they were born with. Employers need to stop telling women what hair style is professional. Naturals can be neat, braids can be professional, and cornrows can be powerful. Again I say this is the new form of discrimination in America telling a black woman that the way she was born is fixable and unacceptable. You want change then leave my hair alone and get back to more important matters. 

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The Bachelor and Princess Fantasy

With the premiere of "the Bachelor" a few weeks ago, this concept of the bachelor and the princess seemed to boggle my mind. It seems as young and even older women we are almost brainwashed by Disney and Romantic movies that we should aspire to "true love". Now I am not a pessimistic person, but from experience I know that we can love different people at different times in our lives. I can say that I have been in love probably three times in my life. I say this because I know that there may not be just one person, a prince charming, for all of us. There may be multiple princes at different times because not all relationships that end, end with someone becoming a jerk to the other. I was however impressed with Disney in the recent (overly-hyped) movie "Frozen", where the main princess is content with being by herself as long as she knew who she was. Why could not this concept be there when I was growing up with  Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid, and Snow White who were all waiting for a man to complete them. Only one of these many princess I give credit to and that is Cinderella, because her situation was a complete coincidence. I as watched the different adaptations and read the original story I realized that she was not wishing for a prince but a better life. Yes men can make a woman's life better by giving her support and love but ultimately Cinderella wanted to feel beautiful for the evening and have fun at the ball. With all of the marriage themed Pinterest boards and the say yes to this and that for your wedding shows is it okay to expect something different and get something like love as a bonus. As women (and men) if we establish ourselves and our lives first, then maybe just maybe Mr. WhoeverINeedAtTheMoment will be there.


Friday, January 9, 2015

Tips from The Huffington Post

Hi Everyone, sorry I have not posted anything new this week or last week like I promised. I have been very busy getting ready for my last semester of college woohoo! I have  been working on a post about the Princess and Bachelor theory that so many of girls and women seem to get in their head about love. I have not left you all completely empty handed this week. I have linked an article from the Huffington Post on some ways to make your new year the happiest it can be just click on the link: 4 Easy Ways To Be Happier In 2015. May your next week be positive, helpful, and insightful.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Happy New Year and Reset

Happy New Year Everyone! I hope your 2014 was happy, prosperous, and fulfilling. If it was not then there is always 2015. I know that sounds corny and there are things that you can't take back from the past year. If you learn from the bad or good things then this next year will be a new start for you. This year there are many things that I know I would like to see happen in my life including a degree in my hand! Just know that nothing is impossible, seriously, live by that and you will go far. I will write a more extensive post later this week but for now I will leave you with a quote from the late Maya Angelou  "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." Enjoy the new year and have fun because life is too short.